Sick in South London - Again
G'day Mate,
Feeling right at home with a greeting like that aren't you? Shall I throw another shrimp on the barby for yer? - That's another with which I have little doubt you are now intimately familiar. For my part I am now able to whinge about anything while gesticulating at cars and looking for Rolex's and mobile phones to steal, all this while polishing my pistol and dealing crack cocaine. Such are the talents one can pick up during a week in London. Not a very cheerful place these days is it?
Lest I give the impression that my brief sojourn in the capital of the Old World wasn't all wine and roses I should add that I was also ill for a fucking week and therefore unable to drink myself into oblivion, though if questioned I shall of course deny this. Upon arrival I managed a wet weekend in Bournemouth and one night in the White Horse before being struck down, that was Wednesday 8th January for the record. That night I spoke at length with out Creator via the gift of the porcelain telephone and thence was unable to touch a drop. For heaven's sake man I had to live on food and water alone.
Of course it wasn't all doom and gloom, before the bastard lurgy struck I did manage to stroll through St James and Mayfair, making key stops along the way - Trickers, Crombie, Lock, Cordings, you know, the usual. Suitably attired I am now able once more to swagger around swinging my James Smith applewood and raising my eyebrow. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the sort of chap who's only at home out in the Empire.
Enough about me. May I heap yet more congratulations on you and the fragrant A in preparation for you two becoming three. It is a glorious thought that two people as wonderful as you will be bringing forth a new member of the human race, we need all the good ones we can get. You will have seen the note from AF (he of '& M' infamy). I took the liberty of passing on your good news here and there. My Dad sends his congratulations.
And what of your dear younger brother in the Antipodes? Naturally he is doing swimmingly but how exactly? Tell me all about it for I would know. He came to mind recently when I was ripping through the who's not who of 'Friends Bestavoided' - a fascinating and somehow chilling read. Two children, three marriages and never left Bournemouth seemed to be the rule, with yourself as the notable exception of course. I took the liberty of adding my own tale of woe. It was fun to see how the girls had got on. Were one wrinkly, old, unattractive and desperate it would surely be easy to laser guide oneself into the arms of an old amour (shudder).
Any plans to pop across? I seem to recall some mention of American clients when you took the reins, are any of them in New York. You know the place misses you terribly, as do the Missus, and me. It was bloody bad timing that my nephew was christened when he was, otherwise I might have delayed the trip. Never mind.
That is all. I look forward to your views on the current crisis.
Love,
Sxx