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Stanley knife

The weapon of choice of the English football hooligan.

The 'Stanley' knife, known to Americans as the more prosaic 'Box Cutter', has become favoured for it's ability to cause horrific looking injuries and unpleasant scarring with little or no possibility of actual death.

Our American cousins have difficulty understanding a culture which finds fighting entertaining but baulks at killing. This explains a great deal.

There is an almost legendary 'upgrade' to the 'Stanley' where two blades are fitted into the handle side by side. This removes a thin strip of skin, makes repair more difficult and ensures maximum scarring.

It is important to reiterate that the Two chaps do not condone violence in any form and include this section purely for information.

A chap would never resort to hitting another chap. He would merely pay a third chap to do it for him.