Gentleman's Dictionary and Usage

The Sine Qua Non of world affairs.

Since there have been radios there has been the British Broadcasting Corporation.

It continued broadcasting throughout the First and Second Unpleasantnesses and its short wave World Service has kept hope alive for countless unfortunates held on foreign shores. One Chap included.

It is viewed with such fondness in Britain that people refer to it as Auntie.

The current junta across the pond call it the Baghdad Broadcasting Corporation but then they would wouldn't they.

Somewhat taken for granted in Blighty it is when deprived of the Beeb that a Chap really understands how important it is. When most other news organisations concentrate on presenter's hair styles and government arse-kissing the BBC is a shining light.

It will be around when the jackals currently assailing it are long forgotten.

Posted by S at 03:21 PM | Permalink

Forties Cromarty Forth Tyne Dogger Fisher German Bight

The Shipping Forecast from the British Broadcasting Corporation is unintelligible to ordinary human beings. Even the Two Chaps, Englishmen with sailing in their blood, can make neither head nor tale of it. That does not diminish it's beauty.

It is clear that when the various shipping areas surrounding the United Kingdom were named those doing the naming were high as kites. Thus we have Dogger off the North East coast. And beyond Dogger we have German Bight. The list goes on.

It is rumoured that the names are intentionally misleading to prevent Johnnie bloody foreigner from invading in little boats with his cheap wine and fags.

Though this is doubted by the Chaps who quite like French wine.

Listening to he Shipping News on a short wave radio, or indeed via their website, is a rare delight and should be enjoyed regularly for its calming effect.

www.bbc.co.uk/weather/ukweather/shipping.shtml

Posted by S at 03:20 PM | Permalink

In November 2000 a failed businessman and fake cowboy of limited intelligence, from a hopelessly over-privileged family, was offered a job that his dad had messed up a few years earlier. Few people wanted him to get this job and many more voted against him than for him. Luckily his brother was in charge 'counting' the votes and his dad's mates were able to prevent anyone else protesting.

And so the 41st President of the USA was selected, as opposed to elected. He immediately filled the government with hate-filled religious fanatics, warmongers and other assorted mates of his dad. Thus the world's remaining military superpower is run by lunatics.

Examples of their lunacy are too numerous to mention.

Suffice to say their Leader can't pronounce the word nuclear.

Though he can say howdy.

Posted by S at 03:19 PM | Permalink

There are two kinds of men. Gentlemen whose cuff buttons unfasten. And men whose do not.

A Gentleman does not advertise the fact. Parading round with cuff buttons unfastened is worse than having fake buttonholes.

A Gentleman would sooner walk round with his fly undone than his jacket cuffs.

This is not an arbitrary rule.

Nor is it difficult to remember.

It is simply known.

Posted by S at 09:03 PM | Permalink

A bar found in the basement of a once trendy furniture shop in London. Articles from the furniture shop were used to decorate what was otherwise a blank concrete space.

There was a brief period during the early nineties when Freuds was thought trendy and at least one of the Two Chaps could regularly be found drunk there.

The two things were not related.

It may still be open for all we know. But most certainly isn't still trendy.

Posted by S at 09:02 PM | Permalink

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

A distressing ailment that makes people repeat certain actions over and over again. For instance repeatedly washing their hands, even though they are perfectly clean.

Politicians tell lies in much the same way though this isn't strictly speaking OCD.
As with the scorpion that stings the very frog that is saving its life, it is their nature.

Posted by S at 09:01 PM | Permalink