The News of the Screws and The Sun
People who can't read and don't like to know what's going on in the world need to have something in their hands to prevent them from abusing themselves.
Thus we have the Murdoch owned Screws and Currant (currant bun - sun).
Apparently before he got hold of them they were newspapers, but that was before our time so we can't confirm this.
That these rags have been used to wrap up fish suppers is an insult to cod and potatoes and profoundly to be regretted