An hilarious joke.
See also:
Question; What's the difference between a piece of bread and Italians?
Answer; You can make soldiers out of a piece of bread.
(International Translation Note: 'Soldiers' when made from bread are thin strips of buttered bread used for dipping into a boiled egg. Thus one's Mum would say 'Do you want a chucky egg and soldiers for your lunch?')
Running through the heart of Mayfair, Jermyn Street is the spiritual home of the chaps.
Although Savile Row is the epicentre of bespoke tailoring, it is but a short jaunt through the Burlington Arcade and across Piccadilly to this souk of hosiers, bootmakers, barbers, shirtmaker's, shaving brush emporia, neckwearmongers and cufflinkieres.
The problem with Savile Row is that a chap has to be holding folding to the tune of several large if he intends to cross any threshold. In Jermyn Street one can browse for hours, assessing the thread count of a shirting here, fingering the bar tack on a tie there, before popping in to Quaglinos for a corrective Brandy Alexander.
Jermyn Street is at its best late in the late afternoon just before Christmas. In the damp gloaming, the windows shine like jewels and it is quite possible to spend simply hundreds of pounds without any appreciable effort.
One can also get there from Savile Row by cutting through the Albany. This is an arcade of flats, next to the Royal Academy, set up originally as chambers for single young gentlemen in town. Shelley wrote, in a letter to his Mother that he had recently occupied rooms and was pleased that, though they were small, there was just enough room for his books and his sabres. You don't see that sort of thing in the particulars of your average metropolitan yuppie hutch.
Rhyming slang for testicles by means so convoluted as to be vaguely amusing.
Jacob's > Jacob's Cream Crackers > Knackers > Testicles.
The Cream Cracker itself is a fascinating phenomenon. It is a truism of English life that the posher you are the more devoid of flavour the biscuits you consume with cheese.
The Cream Cracker is like a large saltine without any salt. It's regarded as posh by those of the lower orders aspiring to entertain. Higher up the scale is the Carr's Water Biscuit - a double-cooked flour and water wafer originally designed by a Scottish sea captain to be weevil proof. It's about as interesting as sucking cardboard.
The Scots somehow have a monopoly on posh and tasteless biscuits as the very highest social signifier is the oatcake. This is made of oats and water. Yes, that's animal feed to you and I. It has the consistency and taste of a piece of fibreboard and scours the intestines like battery acid.
Ideally this should be consumed with incredibly expensive, well aged, and flavoursome cheese and a stunning port - Go figure
J P Donleavy, author of amongst other things The Unexpurgated Code
A treatise on etiquette for social climbing and the inevitable social fall
Includes hints on what do upon Being Caught in Solitary Masturbation, and upon the Proper Haughty Posture for the Delivery of Insult
You'll have to read it for the answers
Essential reading and one of the Chaps' preferred authors
Considered to be especially patriotic this tune was written in the Golden Days of Empire.
Much talk of 'Arrows of Desire' and 'Swords Sleeping in Hands' though not generally thought to have homo-erotic overtones.
Not to be confused with Jerusalem as mentioned in the Bible and scene of an ongoing Little Unpleasantness