A tangy relish ideal for use as a garnish on all cold roast meats, pies and sausages.
Should be kept on hand in the glove box for emergency game pie consumption.
http://www.fortnumandmason.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Fortnums.woa/wa/BFShoppingDirectAction/product?product=8473&menu=Shopping_Catalog
A website that offers spurious gossip about minor celebrities and pop stars who no doubt richly deserve it. Un-attributable and unproven the Chaps alas confess to having Ringpiece read it to them on occasion
Pimp Roll - Heavy swagger including much swinging of shoulders and indication of having much 'downstairs'.
Ghetto Limp - the affecting of a minor limp to imply either a shooting accident (the other guy came off worse), or the carrying of a heavy weapon in one's trousers.
Tupac Bandanna - Mr Tupa Shakur was a famous rap star who was shot to death and thereafter became something of a martyr to his cause. Around his shaved head he wore a thin bandanna with the ends hanging down over one eye. Though comic to some it was not considered wise to tell him this, or indeed anyone else who wears one.
A form of gay/theatrical backslang traceable to the turn of the century. Made famous by Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddick in the BBC radio series 'Round the Horne.
Polari has been the subject of much academic wrangling and seems to vary wildly according to the individual using it. There are, however, some words or phrases that seem generally agreed on...
ajax: nearby
basket: the bulge of male genitals through clothes
batts: shoes
bijou: small
bod: body
bold: daring
bona: good
butch: masculine
camp: effeminate
capello: hat
carts/cartso: penis
chicken: young boy
charper: search
cod: naff, vile
cottage: public lavatory
cottaging: having or looking for sex in a cottage
crimper: hairdresser
dish: an attractive male; buttocks
dizzy: scatterbrained
dolly: pretty, nice, pleasant
drag: clothes, esp. women's clothes
eek: face
ends: hair
esong: nose
fantabulosa: wonderful
feele: child
fruit: queen
gelt: money
handbag: money
hoofer: dancer
jarry: food, also mangarie
kaffies: trousers
khazi: toilet
lallies: legs
latty: room, house or flat
lills: hands
lilly: police (Lilly Law)
luppers: fingers
mangarie: food, also jarry
measures: money
meese: plain, ugly
mince: walk (affectedly)
naff: bad, drab
nanti: not, no
national handbag: dole
nishta: nothing, no
oglefakes: glasses
ogles: eyes
oomska: scum, filth
omi: man
omi-polone: effeminate man, or homosexual
onk: nose
orbs: eyes
palare pipe: telephone
palliass: back (as in part of body)
park: give
plate: to fellate
polari: chat, talk
polone: woman
pots: teeth
riah: hair
riah shusher: hairdresser
scarper: to run off
scotch: leg
sharpy: policeman
shush: steal
shush bag: holdall
shyker/shyckle: wig
slap: makeup
strillers: piano
thews: thighs
trade: sex
troll: to walk about (esp. looking for trade)
vada/varda: see/look
willets: breasts
Some users have managed to elevate it to an art form including the British chapter of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence who have managed to translate the entire King James' Bible (so it obviously IS possible to be a gay train spotter).
A comedy character portrayed by the English actor Steve Coogan. Not worth describing as Americans are genetically programmed to not find him funny. If they claim to, then they are lying.
To be fair we don't find Jim Carrey funny either.
But then he isn't.
God's tea.
All right so Fortnum and Masons' tea is posher, and you probably don't get PG at the Ritz. But since when are we bound by toff's rules?
Our Mums brought us up to realise that there is little or nothing that is not made better by the addition of a cup of tea. PG Tips is every bit as good as any other kind of tea, and we even like the Pyramids even though they just look like squashed teabags.
"It's a topping morning...
Spring and all that...
In the spring a livelier iris gleams upon the burnished dove...
Right-o! then. Bring me my whangee, my yellowest spats and the old green Homburg. I'm going into the park to do pastoral dances".
Bertram Wooster at his foppish best.
I'm pretty sure this term comes from early military radio transmissions. Before the 'Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta' system was introduced there was a scheme of emphatic and distinctive pronunciation of letters. Pip Emma means PM, post meridian, the afternoon. But rather in the style of a cavalry officer, Circa 1917, inviting his batman to an ill advised assignation.
A Pantheon, as anyone with a smattering of the classics will know, is a temple to all the the Gods (Gk. All Gods). The best one is in Rome in the form of a huge rotunda with a central oculus. It is thus a suitable name for the the area where we offer our praises to those who inspire us
In the sort of touch that gladdens the heart of the Englishman, Pantheon is also the name given to the unique radiator grille of a Rolls Royce.
Sometimes it's not enough to have burr walnut on the dash and 75 layers of laquer handrubbed by the personal burnisher who's family have been buffing your family's coachwork since before William the Conqueror. Sometimes you just have to know that parts in the spares catalogue are named with obscure little classical jokes. It's the sort of thing that silently reaffirms that the people who designed it knew the sort of people who would be driving it.
It's things like this that explain why the English stopped really needing organised religion at around the time of Henry VIII.
'Pseudo Tudor'.
The predominant architectural style of the arterial dual carriageways of London. Repellent 1930s houses enlivened with fake timber beams and rough stucco.
In late 1962, according to legend, Sir John Betjeman was apprehended on the Finchley Road, dressed entirely in black and carrying 75lbs of blasting gelignite.
After much behind the scenes maneuvering by the National Trust, Sir John was released into the custody of an order of gay Cistercian monks and allowed to recover in a spacious Palladian house near Cheam.
Probably best known as the author of the 'Jeeves and Wooster' stories, Wodehouse was a prolific and brilliant writer. Other series evolved around a cast of stock characters which included Eukridge, Psmith, The Oldest Member and Lord Emsworth.
PG also wrote libretti for Broadway musicals and, in something of a career limiting move, propaganda messages for the Germans in the Second Little Unpleasantness.
PG, or 'Plum' as he was fondly known, is high up there in the Gentlemen's pantheon.
He am, as they say, de Man.
A proprietary brand of cross-head screw.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Constabulary
Also known as Peelers, Bow Street Runners, the Old Bill and the Filth, though this last term is not thought to be one of endearment
Never been thought of in the same way since the demise of Dixon of Dock Green
'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello. What's going on 'ere then? Said he, famously.
Morse, Bergerac, Harry Callaghan and Bullit were all Plod of one form or another
Can be relied upon to provide dinner party conversation and televisual entertainment, forever
Small time gangster from the novel Brighton Rock by Graham Greene
Given to bouts of religious zealousness of a worrying kind
A chap best not told that his name is a bit poofy
Weapon of choice, a razor, hardly the tool of a Gentleman. Given to attacking without provocation and enticing his lady friend to end it all alongside him
Not a contender for the Two Chaps' Pantheon
Otherwise known as the khazi, crapper, john, head, toilet, lavatory, bog, etc.
The porcelain telephone is used for speaking to one's God often after, though not related to, prodigious consumption of electric soup
As in; "With his face deep inside the porcelain telephone he mumbled 'oh God, oh God,' quietly to himself and contemplated his end."
A hallucinogenic cactus credited by Huxley with opening the gates of perception.
Traditional pastime when Two Chaps meet, the venues may vary but the traditions live on.
The sort of achievement alluded to only in hindsight, if actually remembered at all
Often preceded by, but not related to, lunching rather well.